DISCLAIMER: You know the rules, I once again changed the name of the girl to protect her identity. Although the title kind of gives her away. I did say last time, I got her permission.
From there things took off, she became a part of everything I did. We would go out on the weekends and she would be there. Jackass Sunday, she was there. This went on for a couple of months and we were so happy. Things were going great for us. But her host family was very strict and didn’t care for her being out so much. But she needed the freedom and needed to have friends, so they let her.
One night, we went to see a movie and after the group went out to Dennys to have a late night dinner, this was normal. After, Ellen drove me home and came in the house. Everyone was sleeping, we quietly made our way to my room and began making out. Eventually it led to laying down and making out. She pulled my shirt off and I did the same. She covered herself and told me she was ashamed of her body, so I quickly cover her breasts with my hands. She gave me a look and said thank you. I turned on the small lap near my bed and we began to…have sex.
I’m not one for lying but the sex with Ellen was pretty great and there is only one person I’ve had it better with and I put a ring on that finger. After that experience, we got closer and spent so much more time together. I believe a few of my friends to be a little jealous. It wasn’t long before she told me that she loved me. There were moments in our time together after that, she brought some kind of different feeling into my life, I had never felt. Just little things she did made me feel, good. She would never, ever get her own drink, I would get a drink and should drink from my cup. I did not mind one bit, she would ask for a drink in saying, “Can I have a piece.” That would crush my heart and make me feel warm inside. Things were going so good, everyday I looked forward to seeing her and she made me feel alive.
When the moment came, she told me about someone in the Dominican Republic that she was “friends” with and she was going to visit. I was jealous because it was a guy and at the time, I thought I struck gold and found the girl I would one day marry. But she went down in late March of 2001 and apparently broke it off with the guy, who oddly enough I think she eventually married.
When she finally came back our love hit an entirely new level as change was all around us. Spring time in St. Louis can be a magical thing,it you can believe that. It was Ellen and I began doing everything together, to the point of getting her in trouble with her host family. She worried they wanted to send her away because of the things that were going on. She seemed to only want to be with me, but if she left the family she would have to be sent back to Germany.
The straw that broke the camel’s back, all had to do with Dr. Dre. Ellen was interested in so any kinds of music and I introduced her to some many things. Dr. Dre, the Chronic, she borrowed the CD from me and left it in the host family’s car. They found it and went crazy. The actual disc has a pot leaf on it and the began believing she smoked pot and I was a bad influence. I do not, she did not, it was just music and good music for that matter.
One night, Ellen showed up at my door in tears. Her host family was sending her away. She will remain in the states but, they were sending her to Florida to another family. She was being replaced by some guy named David. She was given 10 days before she was leaving and I was freaking out. I didn’t want to lose her at all, I loved her and wanted nothing more than to be with her. So…I did something a little bold.
With the possibility of Ellen leaving, I got nervous and started thinking of ways to keep her here with me. I talked to friends and family to figure this out and I got one answer that I took and ran with. I honestly don’t remember who said it, I know it was as a joke, but someone said I could marry her. At first thought, I think I’m too young. But my mom was married at 21 and I was nearly 21, why not. Then again, we were living in a different time. I did not know a single married person, I would have been the first of my group of friends married.
We only had a few days before our third wheel arrived, David so I wanted to ask her before. I didn’t have a ring, I took her up to Cahokia Mounds and we climbed to the top of Monks mound and looked out at St. Louis. I was so nervous, we spoke about our future and we didn’t want to break up. So finally I said, “we could get married.” She kinda dismissed this and looked back over the St. Louis skyline. I took her hand and leaned in to kiss her cheek and before I could, she turned and kissed me. At that moment every nervous feeling left my body and mind. I pulled back and looked her deeply, with all the love I had and asked her, “Ellen, marry me, stay with me.”
She smiled at me and put her hand on my cheek leaned in closer and whispered very softly in my ear with her cute German accent, “yes.”
This song, I heard right after I dropped her off at her car. While we were driving, “No Woman, No Cry” came on, but we shared a passionate kiss when this early 90s song came on the radio. To this day, when I hear PM Dawn’ “I’d Die Without You”. I think about Ellen…